I wanted to share a website with you that I have been following and I absolutely LOVE!!! Beauty Redefined. Identical twin sisters, Lexie and Lindsay Kite are students working on their PhD's at the University of Utah majoring in Communication. Their focus is on studying the representation of female bodies in popular media. It is an AMAZING website and they even have billboards up around the state of Utah spreading their mission "to take back beauty"! This is a MUST see site!!!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
FULL Potential, Part One
This is a beautiful article! Written by a friend of mine who puts so eloquently into words what I often feel in my heart. Enjoy!
Monday, June 13, 2011
Daughters.com
This is a great article on a father's role in building self esteem in his daughter. A must read!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
REAL BEAUTY is U and Me
A reader posted this article on a comment she made on a post below and I liked it so I thought I'd share.
‘REAL BEAUTY is U and Me’
I have written this post for Yahoo! India and Dove “I Believe in Real Beauty” under the topic “What does real beauty mean to me?”
I have grown up with the old adage ‘Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder’. In the true sense, Real Beauty is deeply perceptual. It is measurable and admirable by the sensual gratification of the senses or of the mind.
Everything that glitters and is pricey like diamond or gold is not real beauty for me. To me real beauty is synonymous to simplicity, purity, and authenticity. It is a conglomeration of entities that are universal, natural and eternal. It soothes the eyes, lends pleasure to ears and gives meaning to life .The real beauty is unconquerable and unending. It has a charismatic mystery about it that arouses an exalted state of mind and soul.
One may ask who has the real beauty. I would insist ‘I have it’ and ‘You have it too’. Everyone is blessed with a unique beauty and we all embody the real beauty. In fact, we thrive on it and it’s omnipresent. To be blessed with physical beauty is love of God but to possess the inner real beauty and make the most of it is Godly. Beauty is more than just being skin deep and it enhances with the wellness of our mind, body and spirit.
As my Dad has always quoted—‘Beta, if you will feel beautiful from within, No matter what, you will definitely outshine those with the external beauty.”
For me Real beauty is our positive attitude towards life. It is showcased in our strength to fight back and the determination to go on till the eleventh hour. It is about unearthing the goodness and overcoming the weaknesses in oneself. Real beauty is about indelible confidence and grit of mind. It glorifies with our knowledge, learning’s and freedom of thoughts. It is more about empowering ourselves to prepare for the worst and less of fearing the inadequacies. The real beauty is the purity of spirit and the sanctity of thoughts. It is the passion to move ahead and hold the hands of the one in need. Self love, self respect, self acceptance and selfless acts nurture real beauty in us.
To me ‘REAL BEAUTY is U and Me.’
‘BEAUTY is the Black and White within U and Me.’
‘BEAUTY is the Enigma of Life that holds U and Me.’
‘BEAUTY is the Addictive Smile that ties U and Me.’
‘BEAUTY is the Unconditional love of U and Me.’
‘BEAUTY is the Traveled miles between U and Me.’
‘BEAUTY is the Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow of U and Me.’
‘U’ here is my mother, my father, my soul mate, my friends and you all who have made me feel beautiful ever. This is what REAL BEAUTY is because it is the unconditional love that beautifies me each day and I dare to reach the epitome that lies high. If ‘U’ do not make me aware of my real beauty, ‘Me’ would never know.
‘ME’ is the mortal, who insists that beauty is the strong belief in oneself. It encompasses my looks, intelligence, sincerity, strength, love, respect and weakness. I get beautiful everyday if I use my divine blessings gracefully and let not my weaknesses falter me. I may wear the spectacles but my eyes tell not the false. I may have a twitched lip but my words may not hurt anyone. I may have a clownish nose but I appreciate the fragrance of wet soil. I may have a face that is scarred but my power to fight back is the ‘real beauty’ in me.
Real beauty and I is inseparable forever.
I have tried to capture the real beauty with the help of colors. 
I do not have an hour glass figure and a shining face but I am proud to be myself . My real beauty comes from the books that I read and it lies in my wandering, creative, artistic, loving and intelligent mind.
Real beauty is U and Me
Check out more http://realbeauty.yahoo.com/
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
The Meadow
Since dance has been a HUGE part of my entire life, I had to share this video! This girl is simply stunning & is completely aware of her body the entire 2 1/2 minutes! What a beautiful piece this young girl created!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
To BE or To Be Looked At?
To BE or To Be Looked At?
You are capable of much more than being looked at.
Have you thought about this statement? Do you understand the gravity of it? This was the first of the four messages Lindsay and I carefully chose for our billboard campaign going up in June, and it gave me goosebumps when I let it sink in. Women are always being looked at. And when we aren’t being looked at, we are too often envisioning ourselves being looked at, as if an outsider’s perspective has become our own. In fact, our work makes one thing very clear: Part of growing up female today means learning to view oneself from another’s gaze.
Rockwell's "Girl at the Mirror"
Ever heard this quote? Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at. This determines not only most relations between men and women but also the relation of women to themselves. The surveyor of woman in herself is male: the surveyed female. Thus she turns herself into an object—and most particularly an object of vision: a sight. (John Berger, Ways of Seeing, 1977).
This insightful man was referring to the idea of “objectification,” which we’ve all heard once or twice. But when we think of the term, we probably think of sexualized female bodies, or sexualized parts of female bodies…which isn’t the whole idea here. When we understand the whole of objectification, we can better grasp the role it plays in our daily lives and the ways it may keep us from fulfilling all we want to do with our days. When we travel around giving our one-hour Beauty Redefined visual presentation, we explain to our audiences that objectification takes on many roles:
Say you’re walking down the sidewalk on a beautiful day. Someone who has internalized an outsider’s perspective of herself will often spend more time adjusting her clothing or hair, wondering what other people are thinking of her, judging the shape of her shadow or reflection in a window, etc. She will picture herself walking – she literally turns herself into an object of vision – instead of enjoying the sunny weather, looking around, thinking about anything else, etc. If you find yourself the victim of this type of activity, you aren’t alone. In fact, you are just one of millions of females growing up in a world that teaches us to survey ourselves every waking moment. Profit-driven media tells us how we can “Look Hotter From Behind!” in fitness magazines, “Look Wow Now!” on makeover shows every hour of every day, “Look 10 Years Younger!” using every anti-aging procedure and product under the sun. Notice the emphasis on looking…Do you find you survey yourself as you move through life? That you ever turn yourself into an object of vision: a sight?
By Raquel Aparicio for "Beauty Redefined" featured in LDS Living Magazine January 2011
You are capable of much more than being looked at. Do you know who you are? Have you grasped the powerful role you can play in a world so badly in need of your unique talents, wisdom, and light? Are you aware of your unique mission at this point in your life? You’ve got something great to do, that only you can do. And if you are here to be looked at, to appear, to survey yourself instead of do an inspirational work that only you can do, you are not fulfilling your mission. Cheesy? Yes. True? Oh yes. More true than you know.
I see objectification playing out in my own life in many ways. Here are two: When I’m walking past people, I always imagine what I look like to them – from the front and from behind – and think irrational thoughts about what the people walking behind me or past me think about me. I often adjust my clothing to what I assume is the most flattering position as I walk. I can admit I’ve been known to look at my own Facebook profile to see what I look like to the cute guy who just added me or the friend I just added. I look through my photos and try to gauge my looks from the perspective of someone who is not me. If that isn’t self objectification, I don’t know what is! Tell me I’m not alone in doing this…? I am a body image activist and I’m getting a Ph.D. inresearch on self-objectification, yet I still spend time envisioning myself from an outsider’s perspective instead of moving on to so many things more meaningful and productive. This just goes to show it’s a constant battle. I am constantly working to remind myself I’m capable of much more than being looked at. My self-objectification is complicated by the fact that I am an identical twin, so in some ways I see a body of a person with identical DNA in real life in a way that most people cannot experience. Unless you have an identical counterpart, your vision of yourself comes from photos, videos, and your two-dimensional reflection.
So let’s talk about mirrors, shall we? Even as I sit in my bedroom typing at 2 a.m., I see a full-length mirror peeking through the closet door, one with hooks hanging all my jewelry, five small decorative mirrors, and an IKEA centerpiece mirror above my bed. While I don’t think I’m necessarily vain or image-obsessed, I spend 45 minutes in front of the mirror every morning, keep a compact in my purse at all times, and apparently have about 100 in my room for safe keeping. I am surveying an image of myself for at least one of the 24 hours in my day, and imagining that image of myself as I move throughout my day. What role do mirrors play in your life? “Women are constantly being looked at. Even when we’re not, we’re so hyperaware of the possibility of being looked at that it can rule even our most private lives. Including in front of our mirrors, alone,” says Autumn Whitfield-Madrano at her always inspirational website, The Beheld.
The thought-provoking Autumn is currently undergoing an experiment which I cannot deny reflecting upon: A month-long break from mirrors. Thirty-one days of no mirrors, store windows, shiny pots, spoons, or the dark glass of the NYC subway she rides daily. In her own words: There’s nothing wrong with looking in the mirror. There’s nothing wrong with sometimes looking to your reflection—even when it is impossibly subjective, and backward at that—for a breath of fortitude, centeredness, and assurance. I just want to see what life is like when I’m not using that image as my anchor; I want to see how it affects the way I move through the world, the way I regard myself and others. I want to know what it’s like to sever a primary tie to one of my greatest personal flaws—extraordinary self-consciousness—and I want to discover what will fill the space that the mirror has occupied until now.
She goes on: Sometimes I look in the mirror and see myself, or whatever I understand myself to be. Other times, I distinctly see an image of myself. When I see my image reflected on a mirror behind a bar I think, Oh good, I look like a woman who is having a good time out with friends. Or I’ll see my reflection in a darkened windowpane, hunched over my computer with a pencil twirled through my upswept hair, and I’ll think, My, don’t I look like a writer? You’ll notice what these have in common: My thoughts upon seeing my reflection are both self-centered and distant. I’m seeing myself, but not really—I’m seeing a woman who looks like she’s having a good time, or a writer, etc.
Autumn’s insights echo Berger’s powerful words. Too often, we travel through life with an outsider’s vision of ourselves. We are to be looked at. We watch ourselves being looked at. We become objects of vision: sights. But isn’t there so much more to life than watching ourselves self-consciously stroll through it? Life is beautiful when you live it – really experience it – not when you are more concerned about appearing beautiful as you try to live. When you think of your happiest times, were they in front of the mirror? Were you happiest when you were working to appear happy or attractive or beautiful to others? Happiness and beauty come from doing, acting, being – outside the confines of being looked at. So, today, what will you do to shake off the outsider’s gaze you envision of yourself? Will you do as Autumn has done and experiment with what your life becomes when you spend less time with your reflection and more time doing, acting, and being? Will you enjoy the world around you instead of hoping others are enjoying their view of you? Will you do something your self-policing outsider’s gaze kept you from doing before – like speak in front of a group of people? Run without worrying about the jiggle? Go to the store without your makeup on?
Today is the day to remember you are capable of much more than being looked at. And when you begin to realize that, you can start realizing the power of your abilities and the good you can do in a world so desperately in need of you. NOT a vision of you, but ALL of you. What will you find you are capable of?
Kite, Lexie. “To BE or To Be Looked At?” www.beautyredefined.net May 13, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Selena Gomez & The Scene - Who Says
This is my new favorite song & I love the little messages in the video. Listen carefully to the words and watch closely to the little messages in the video!
Who says YOU'RE not perfect???
Monday, April 25, 2011
Life After 50: When you look in the Mirror what do you see?
I came across this article on AOL today and LOVED it so I had to share! This is such a powerful message and I'm so glad I found it! Be sure to watch the clip that goes along with it! Enjoy!
An article in the U.K. Daily Mail stopped me in my tracks recently. New research, it reported, shows that more than 90 percent of women in their 40s and 50s are deeply unhappy with how they look and are suffering from what experts have dubbed "Midlife Mirror Angst Syndrome."
Curious and apprehensive, I read the article. Not surprisingly, the women who were interviewed for the story were quite down on themselves:
"Ever since I turned 40, my reflection has upset me. I loathe what's happening to my body, I am riddled with hang-ups -- and I hate the fact I can't control the changes I see."
"Before the ageing process kicked in, I used to take all those sideways glances from men for granted. I've had to accept that I simply don't turn heads any more."
"I'm going through the menopause and it's a shock every time I catch sight of myself in the mirror: I expect to see the woman I was in my 20s, but there's a 50-something woman staring back at me."
I used to feel that way -- but no more.
A few years ago when I turned 50, this is what was staring back at me when I looked into the mirror:
A woman who:
- was starting to feel invisible and ignored
- hadn't exercised regularly in many years
- had very little energy
- had hair that looked like road kill because she had been blow-drying it to death for decades, trying to make it something it wasn't (straight)
- assumed that the 15 pounds she packed on after going through menopause was normal and would never come off
- believed that she was no longer attractive
- focused on her wrinkles
- was feeling insecure about her place in the world
Need I go on?
I looked in the mirror and thought, "Okay, this is it. This is what being middle aged is all about, and I'd better just accept it." Then, I mentally tucked myself under the proverbial blanket and was getting ready to stay there -- until I pulled myself up by my bootstraps, declaring, "Giving up is not an option."
Deciding that drastic action was required, I took it upon myself to get the best information from the best experts on nutrition, fitness, style, hair, makeup, health, finances, careers after 50 and everything else you could possibly think of to feel good and look good so that I could stare at that person in the mirror with a renewed sense of pride and confidence.
Armed with my new "look" and new attitude, I appeared on the Today Show to talk about how I learned to embrace my age instead of fighting it. During the interview with Ann Curry (see video below), I shared what I believe is the simple key to being fearless after 50: "Embrace your age, whatever it is. Love your life, get as healthy as you can, move your body every day, be informed, stay engaged, connect with others, use your mind, live with style, be bold, be brave and walk with confidence."
The message has resonated with men and women around the country because we're tired of being told that we are invisible and no longer relevant. I meet people over 50 every day who are engaged with life in ways they never thought they could be.
I can honestly say that turning 50 changed my life for the better. Instead of giving up and giving in, I did a bit of "tough love" on myself and took action. But more than that: I also realized that I didn't want to just be alive; I wanted to have a life, a great, big, wonderful life after 50.
Before sitting down to write this piece, I looked in the mirror, and this is what I saw:
A woman who:
- just came back from running nine miles (with walk breaks and quite slowly)
- will run in the New York City Marathon this year to celebrate her 55th birthday and raise money for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network (see the "NYC Marathon Training Weekly Update" at the end of this article)
- can do 20 push-ups (just a few years ago she couldn't even do one)
- is starting a new business and has outlines for two other books
- has come to truly understand and appreciate the power of connecting with other women who are, or have been, going through similar midlife experiences (take a look at a few of the comments from Facebook friends who were asked this question, "What do you see when you look in the mirror?" below)
- can see the pride in her daughters' faces when they look at this confident, happy and unstoppable woman their mother has become
- smiles more often than not
- is the happiest she has ever been
That is what I see. Oh, about those wrinkles. Yes, they are still there. I love them, and I hope you come to love yours, too. They are the most empowering things I possess.
I put this question, "When you look in the mirror, what do you see?" on Facebook, and here are a few of the responses, reprinted with their permission. If you're on Facebook, join me and these wonderful women so we can all learn from each other about living our best lives after 50:
I see a different face every day. The face may change, but the reflection remains the same. There's always a smart, loving, talented woman looking back at me. (Karen Hanley Taylor)
I see wisdom in the lines around my eyes, happiness in the lines around my mouth and joy reflecting in my eyes. (Denise Taylor Tremaine)
I see a youthful spirit with a new wisdom that can only come with life experience. I take care of myself and do the best that I can with my looks, and have accepted the physical change as part of growing older. I feel very blessed. (Marsha Silver-Kessler)
I see a woman who believes that dreams can come true again and again! (Amy Wise)
I see an older version of myself, but a much more serene and confident version. I see a woman who can handle just about anything with a little time to get used to whatever it is. I see a truly happy woman who has found contentment, has lost her judgementalism, has found her groove and who can find common ground with anyone and who can enjoy herself in any situation....take that you 20 year olds! ;) (Maureen Ardron)
Tell us: what do you see?
Staying connected is a powerful tool. "Friend" me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter. For more information on "The Best of Everything After 50: The Experts' Guide to Style, Sex, Health, Money and More," please visit my website, bestofeverythingafter50.com. Stay well, and stay in touch.
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