Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Dove Real Esteem

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Omf2gwLUE8E I'm not quite sure how to get these videos to post to my actual site but here is a link to check this one out! This is a little taste of what I do with Dove's Real Beauty Workshops!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

California Mom Wants Women to Embrace their Bodies

I read this article on the Deseret News' website this morning & liked what it said about this mom. This subject is in the news more and more lately and I'm glad. To read the article click here: http://www.deseretnews.com/article/705292712/California-mom-wants-women-to-embrace-their-bodies.html

Friday, March 13, 2009

Love is Not a Feeling

I get a newsletter every week from Dr. Gary Chapman who has authored many books on marriage and relationships including The Five Love Languages (which is great) and in the most recent newsletter was this article. Although he is talking about love between a man & woman in a marriage, I think it can be applied to all relationships. Read on:

"Love is Not a Feeling

I really do believe that “love makes the world go round.” Why would I say that? Because God is love. It is His love for us that makes all of life meaningful. So, what does that have to do with marriage? God made us for each other. Husband and wife – designed to work together as a mutual support team to discover and fulfill God’s plans for their lives.
In a word, love is the choice to look out for each other in the same way that God looks out for us. It doesn’t require warm feelings, but it does require and open heart.

Love is not our only emotional need, but it interfaces with all other needs. If I feel loved by my wife, then I also feel good about myself. After all, if she loves me, I must be worth loving. Ultimately, it is discovering that God loves me that gives me my greatest sense of worth. Also, if my spouse loves me, I’m more likely to feel that my life has significance.Threat or Haven?Spouses become God’s agent for helping their partners feel loved. Few things are more important than encouraging one’s spouse to accomplish God’s plans. Marriage is designed to help us accomplish more for God. Two are better than one in His kingdom.
If we do not feel loved in marriage, our differences are magnified. We come to view each other as a threat to our happiness. We fight for self-worth and significance, and marriage becomes a battlefield rather than a haven.
Love is not the answer to everything, but it creates a climate of security in which we can seek answers to those things that bother us. In the security of love, a couple can discuss differences without condemnation. Conflicts can be resolved. Two people who are different can learn to live together in harmony. We discover how to bring out the best in each other. The decision to love your spouse holds tremendous potential.
The Power of LoveI believe that love really does make the difference between success and failure in a marriage. Keep in mind that love is not a feeling, but love stimulates feelings. The euphoric feelings of the “in love” experience are temporary; usually two years or less. But when we learn to love each other effectively we keep warm emotional feelings alive. Life is much better when we feel loved. "

My favorite part of this is when he says that if he feels loved by his wife then he feels good about himself. Isn't that true for all of us? If we feel that someone loves us & truly cares for us then we feel like we are worth loving & that our lives really do have significance! I hope that we can all show more genuine love to those around us so that they in turn will feel like their life is of value & they are worth loving.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Beauty Pressures on Girls and Women

I ran across this article on Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty site and wanted to share it but you have to click on the link http://www.dove.us/#/CFRB/arti_CFRB.aspx[cp-documentid=7051094]/ It is a great article so check it out!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Radiate Self Confidence

I found this article on another site (www.wonderfullymade.org) & thought I would share it.

Radiate Self Confidence
By Cindy Incorvaia

'"A Mother Who Radiates Self-Acceptance Actually Vaccinates Her Daughter Against Low Self-Esteem." Naomi Wolf

Radiate self acceptance… Who in her right mind would not want to exude a personality glowing with appreciation, self love, and gratitude?! Amazing books have been written endorsing such positive thinking as, Simple Abundance: by Sarah Ban Breathnach, and I Like Myself! by Karen Beaumont, for younger children. In the elementary classroom today, it is politically correct to teach lesson plans on self-esteem because a child who has a sense of well being in the world is thought to do better, go farther, and ultimately live a happier life. Yet for most of us, in childhood is where we formulate perceptions that we are not OK, that something must be wrong with us otherwise our lives wouldn't hurt so much.
Role models who have achieved self acceptance protect, inoculate, and immunize us against low self-esteem. Oprah made a comment on her show featuring R & B artist, Mary J. Blige, that women who have been molested no longer "feel worthy." How do we get this worthiness back? Must we depend upon our Mother's? For those of us who did not get "the vaccination" but instead became infected with low self esteem, how do we root it out of our hearts, our bloodstream, thus becoming healthy, vibrant, and confident women?
Brave female crusaders in the media are trying to turn things around for women suffering from a malady of symptoms from low self esteem. On her CD, Breakthrough, Mary J. expresses her journey through drugs, pain, and self-loathing which ultimately led to her breakthrough into sober living and a strong faith in God. She speaks openly on the Oprah show about forgiving her own Mother, "I blame my Mother for nothing; I forgive her for everything." Somewhere along in our journey into our own breakthroughs, we must begin with forgiveness, and usually that will be towards our own Mothers who for one reason or another were not able to give us that vaccination so needed to protect us against unworthiness.
My own Mother struggled to find her value, worth, and place in the world as a young child. At the tender age of four she was sent off to Boarding School, a custom not uncommon for British children of her era. My Mother came to America when she was a toddler after the sudden death of her father, making her Mother a young widow left with two baby daughters to raise. Fighting back poverty and aloneness in a new strange country her Mother worked particularly hard to make herself as attractive as possible. To secure a good future for herself and her children, she graduated from Beauty School and having had some experience in show business back in England, she elevated beauty, fitness, and self-confidence to the highest level. At a very young age, my Mother watched her Mom meticulously care for her complexion, count her calories, wear smart clothes, and most profoundly, attract the attention of admiring men. But this was not the vaccination she needed to rise above the wiles of looming self doubt. Even with all the best training in beauty and appearance, she was not secure inside. Helen Keller, a woman with no eyesight, or hearing, overcame to find beauty in her world which sustained her: "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched ... but are felt in the heart." She hit the nail on the head! It's within our hearts that true and genuine beauty is reflected. It is what makes our complexions glow and our eyes radiate a light from within.
Having none herself, my Mother was not able to vaccinate me against low self esteem. But in God's goodness and grace, as a Child of God I move forward from "glory to glory," from strength to strength, progressing past the limitations of physical appearance thus redefining beauty for myself and my daughters.
2 Corinthians 3:18But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord." King James
Extremely tall, awkward, shy, and ashamed, I maneuvered through high school with a vulnerability to the plethora of enticements around me. Any high mountain with steep cliffs could have wooed me over the edge with but a tap. I was, as so many young girls are today, simply unvaccinated and ill equipped to fight the mass barrage of subtle but powerful messages: "You don't have what it takes… otherwise you would be in movies or on magazine covers," and other similar thoughts as these. Fortunately, my shyness kept me away from popular parties where drugs were passed; my height scared off boys; and my faith kept me in safe places where I slowly became inoculated against low self-esteem and learned a new kind, God-esteem, where His love dominated everything else.
I remember as a wayward teen thinking that a way to end my disenchantment with life was to take my own life. This is what unvaccinated women consider until they have gained access to weapons which fight off thoughts of such illusions and seductions. Just as the snake in the Garden of Eden tempted with lies, every woman at some point will find herself in a place where she either resists those lies, or caves in. My cousin in her early 30's succeeded in taking her own life, which surprisingly gave me a stronger resolve to stay alive. Ugly duckling teen I may have felt, yet still I had breath, and with that breath I could speak out words as an offense tactic against the lies. In time, I began to transform from the ugly duckling into the beautiful swan. Shedding feathers of awkwardness as God's love penetrated my heart, I gained a graceful composure, an inner strength, and a remarkable confidence in God and His plan for me.
Daniel 12:3"… And those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the firmament, and those who turn many to righteousness (to uprightness and right standing with God) [shall give forth light] like the stars forever and ever.
Yes, the ugly duckling became a beautiful swan in the famous fairy tale. The unworthy teen became a confident, self assured woman. Every decision to see myself, not as my Mother or Grandmother saw themselves, but as God sees me, brings a brilliance from within radiating true beauty. "I blame my Mother for nothing, I forgive her for everything." My self acceptance comes from God's acceptance of me.
Today, as I walk along the beach in the mornings, the vaccination of gratitude, forgiveness, and solitude strengthen me. Living close to the shoreline, I observe the many moods of the ocean. Some days I look out and see grey, tumultuous surf; other days look out and see a brilliant blue crest laden with surfers and a seashore scattered with scampering sand pipers. Recently a seaweed strand washed up on the sand and formed a heart shape so I took a picture of it on my cell and mailed it to my daughter. My unspoken message? "You are loved. You are treasured. No matter how far away you are, your heartbeat is next to mine and I believe in you. Because I believe in myself and every breathe is a gift from God."
Beauty comes from the heart, and as Helen Keller reminds us, "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched ... but are felt in the heart." My legacy of beauty and self acceptance started on shaky ground. But because of God's faithfulness, I was able to go a little farther than those women before me and I have full confidence that my daughters will go farther than me.
All of us will shine and find our place as stars in the sky because God wills it so. Each one's story, builds a legacy, a tale of arriving at that place Mary J. calls breakthrough. And as we overcome, we leave a bit of hope for other young women, starting out on their journey of forgiveness and redefinition of beauty. And we say, "From our hearts, beauty shines through our eyes, our countenance, our vulnerable beginnings." It transforms us from inside out and brings a message of hope vs. defeat; a message of life vs. death, of breath vs. suffocation. We breathe free. We breathe bold. We're alive and that is beautiful all in itself. '